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' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?' She smiled and said,"No, I didn't. All I saw was an old tired minivan with two flat tires..."Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.''Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in the world do you want to marry her then?''Because she can still. She asked if he wanted some soothinglotion and he said he would like that. For a short while he luxuriated as she rubbed the very femininesmelling lotion all over his body. Then she fastened a tight bra onhim. She laughed when she saw he was blushing. . He didn't know what the next thing was until she told him it wasa corset called the Devil's Plaything. She said it was designedespecially for men like him. When she had it as tight as she couldget it she saw he did indeed have a feminine shape. He could hardlybreathe, and when he tried to bend he had trouble because of themany stainless steel stays. Then it was a lacy garter belt, and when she drew the nylons uphis legs he got the most delightful feeling. The silk lacy slipmade his skin tingle where it touched bare skin. A pink dress withruffles came next. He was shocked when she handed a white leather purse and told himthey were going out. He said he couldn't go anywhere like that andshe said he could either go with her or back.
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